Bread is the enemy or is it, you nut?

     I want to say I have NOT been tested for a gluten allergy and that is why I am writing this. I know that being gluten-free it the big "fad" diet of the year and I also know the test to get see if I am gluten intolerant is not cheap, well the medical test is. I did a little test of my own to see if gluten did anything to me. I suggest if you think you have a gluten allergy you do this too.
    My test is going to take a little on the long side but effective. One stop eating foods with gluten. Two endure the headaches and depression for a bit. The next week see how you feel? Are you happier? Do you feel the same? If you feel the same go back to eating gluten and how do you feel? IF you feel like crap there you go that is what gluten does to you. That simple.
    I shall give you myself as an example. I have had gluten 5 times since limiting it and the results are always the same. I eat bread or a cookie and feel fine. The second day I start to feel anxiety and a bit of anger. The third day I get extremely angry and raging. Working becomes very hard. The forth day I am ready to run someone over and quit my job and scream and cry, that of course all happens only in my minds eye. On the fifth day day I am back to happy crazy me.
     I do not make my gluten free life be a thing either. It is a thing only for me. I just try to eat something else and if there is on other option I can not eat or have some bread and know what is going to happen. I have read drinking more water helps gluten get out of the system faster but I rarely drink water so I don't know. Good luck either way.

My Life list (part 2) work in progress

     I thought about my life list for a good 2 minutes yesterday. It was a hard day and I had to focus work. I have a few things though and I will add to this as I think of more things but let us do this thang.

Life List thus far

1. Go to England and Scotland and France
2. Have a story of mine published
3. Be able to work from home and be comfortable with money
4. Buy a house with woods in the backyard. 
5. Be a size 6 (I am so vain singing in my head)
6. Have a "normal" wedding. 
7. Hike in Forest park.
8. Learn Russian and be fluent 
9. Go to Turkey and so where my dad came from
10. Travel New England and see Salem, Boston, New York, The Capital and Jamestown.
11. Visit Ekaterine Palace and The Winter Palace and see a Russian Ballet.
12. Meet Evgenia Obraztsova
13. Meet Jennifer Lawerence 
14. Finally have a house warming
15. Be in a movie 
16. Record a song 
17. Go to an Irish Traveller wedding
18. Stay in a castle 
19. Stay in a haunted House, preferably in the South or Salem or England
20. Leave flowers on Anne Boleyn's grave and Elizabeth I
21.  Be able to get on en pointe for a bit 
22. See the Red woods
23. Change someone's life for the better

Damn being a fatty

     I have not been in single digit sized clothing since my early teens but have tried off and on to be that thin girl I wanted to look like. Yes, almost all my tries were half-assed thanks for pointing that out dick but as I am moving towards what I consider adulthood, the 20's are for playing and the 30's are to be adult well an adult at times if need be and no other adult is in the room to supervisor, I know that my body is going to be less and less forgiving and if I do get to a healthy weight and to my goal size my next endeavor will be to get to my financial goal for the surgery I am going to need for my slagging boobs and extra skinned tummy.
     Yes, starting a new diet is hard but for me that has always been pretty easy. I mean I could start four diets or health regimes in one day and plan the whole thing down to the calorie but that damn bitch follow through is always walking away when I need her ass to back me you. She came through once but backed out only 2 pant sizes away for my dream size.
    I am now back on the wagon and watching shows that make me want to look good for my wedding, don't judge my say yes to the dress asshole. While doing so I am doing 200 squats or chugging 100 oz of water, half what I believe my weight to be and this is not a new adventure I got out gluten a few months ago, my fiance is help for this because the weird mood swings and horrible panic attacks are all but gone until I eat a piece of pizza, damn weakness, still I am not see the results like the last time. The kicker is the diet I know but I was living, used so loosely, on 1200 kcal a day and only awake to do my squats while cooking for dinner or at work. It was a killer.
   I will soldier for now as this fat chick but by God, even if I am not a fan of his, I will get to my goal weight and size, and yes I know sizes differ and that size does not tell fitness level and such, before my dream wedding. 

BALLS! A rant about today

I am so very tired right now. I love the summer coming BUT the season change and the heat creeping in always kills my energy levels. It really sucks more because I am suppose to be working out and calorie counting. After waking up at noon, barely walking the dog and eating pizza and potato tacos I really have failed my dieting plans. I guess that just means tomorrow 100 extra squats.

A long time back I lost a lot of weight quickly and I just wish I had that drive now. I do want to be healthy and not have to worry about feel like death at night and god damn it I want a flat stomach and not more muffin freaking top. I know I have to do it and there is no magic pill but fucking a my body is working against me and all I want is the little help from it to get going. I know I am not making much sense to the sane and thin but if you get me thank you for understanding the struggle is real.

I am now off the play more minecraft, yes I am also 30 and play mine craft and have built a palace based on Henry VIII's Hampton Court. No need to be jealous people, so a joking.
Night y'all have a good one