Breast envy

     The last time I could go out in public without my breasts hanging down so low was my eighth grade awards. I wore a very risk-ay black backless top and a long black skirt. I had been a "lucky one" that had bloomed into womanhood early. Truly I didn't understand what this meant until a few years later trying to find a bathing suit top. I was still quite thin at that time BUT finding something that fit my chesticles was a feat.
    I know that there are many woman that are thinking stop gloating, you are lucky to have big natural boobs. Please, let me explain. I am happy with my body, but if I had a choice, and it didn't cost thousands of dollars to do, I would have at these two sizes smaller of breast. I grew up in the first time of backless shirts, as noted but I really never got a chance to enjoy it and now it is bandus and see through tops and this is pretty much the last few years I can wear trendy clothes without looking a bit like that person that should move from the juniors to at least the misses section, why do we have three sections for clothing choices? Men get one, which is not always a good thing but still why do women have to have sections that tell them which clothes for which age? That is so ridiculous! Anyway, even if I was a single digit size wearing the trends would not be an option for me.

    The price of a big chest

    This is just the superficial reason I am tired of these melons there is also the back pain that I feel so often when I don't have it plaguing me it is like I am in heaven. Not to mention the laying on my back could be considered a suicide attempt, no really they come at your face and not total disregard for your well being. I would also like to mention that finding a bra that does not look like something out of a 50's sear store is soooo hard or over priced. I bought two bras the other day and spent $65. One with a smaller chest could go to kmart and buy 3 cute underwire bras for $15. Yes, it is more fabric but that is still $27 mark up!

    Let us talk the societal view. 

One I only have big boobs because I am over weight.  This is me a size 6 at my high school graduation.

True, my chest would not be as HUGE as it is now if I were that size BUT I would still be in the double letter group just a smaller number.

Two, women with large breasts are stupid or lack intelligence. NO....

Three, women with large chests can use their boobs to get whatever they want. HAHA! Well maybe, if wanted to use my boobs for evil I could BUT that stems from the fact that we are only acknowledged by our chest by many men, and some women. This myth honestly also leads to the forth point I have that we are normal woman and not bitches based on our chests. Boobs do not make a personality how one is raised and taught does.

    My sister with smaller chest rejoice that you save money and avoid douche waffles much more than the big chested girl and also remember we want to be your friend and do not judge us by the big lumps of fat on our chest but by our personality. Now if that is bad I don't blame you if you don't want to be that rude person's friend.


Have a good one all.

Father... fathers.... dad... and all you men types MALE AWARENESS DAY!

I know that you will find hundreds if not millions notes about "fathers." This is going to sort of be one of those.

     Last month on mother's day I heard so many well wishes from people coming through my work. Today it is the young men on my work to get their well wishes. I spoke to one of my friends yesterday and we talked about that neither of had children and for the time being neither of us have children and it all got be to thinking.

     I have thought of the labels that we give people and how they are required to have a "day". Now, I know that we already have so many days celebrating anything for parents to a rodents but why do you have to have a child to get a happy father's day? In fact it should be changed to male awareness day, screw the feminists (I am a feminist people chill I will get to the point) views that it is sexist as we will change mother's day to female awareness day. On these days you thank all of the men or women in your life that have helped you in education, self growth, self understand and have just been awesome in your life!
 
     I read once "having a child does not make you a great person" to add to that VERY TRUE statement,  a great person is the one that mold a person into a well functioning contributor to the world. We that statement I want to thank all the men that helped me grow into a proud happy person that sees more than one side to a story and questions when I am not sure. My strength is my own BUT you all helped me find it thank you!

    Go thank a male in your life no matter if it is your father, brother, uncle, teacher, mentor or even the crazy guy that lives with you even though you get freaking crazy at times!

HAPPY MALE AWARENESS DAY!

Get stupid

"The smarter a woman is the harder it is for her to find a good man." - Unknown

      I just binge listened to The Fault in Our Stars for the second time. As I listened to this sad tale about life I thought of my own story with disease. My story is one I will save BUT I did also think of the amazing intelligence of this novel. I know that there are some that say this is not the way "normal" teenagers speak but I remembered my teenage years and for a long while I did actually speak much like Hazel, I did not have that much wit but I could hold and creative and well-informed conversations. What has changed you may ask. Why did I go from an avid news watcher, current event knowledge center and all-in-all smart woman?
It is two fold the first being simple and the second a bit more complex.

One

 You are the company you keep. 

      In my early years of my teens I was the typical teen worrying about friends, fun and boys. It was very uneventful but as things changed and I lost and gained friends people came into my life that were much more interested in more than boys and the "normal things" and wanted to make a mark in the world, many did. As I fell more into this crowd I wanted to be on the same level and pushed myself to get top grade, know the facts of the day and moments of the year. The people in my helped me move toward finding my voice but the great wave of hormones could only be held back but the levy for so long until they would break down those internal walls.  As this happened I my want to be the best changed into just the want to be liked. Of course there was still a want to do well and still know what is going on in the world around me BUT I found high school boys often are not worrying if their girlfriends can write or talk current events as much as they cared how good they looked perched on their arm and how much it would cost to get them into bed. This is when the decline began.

Two

Silent does not get ridiculed (Often)

     Towards the end of high school I had found that pretending to be dingy was all in good but not the thing for me, really. If a person did not like that I had an opinion and knowledge that was their problem. I followed this train of thought into college until I was almost 19. This golden last year in the teens so many things changed in my life I had lost the strong backing of my family. They had moved and took with them the questions of the goings on in the world. My adopted family often was too burdened about the here and now in our home to concern themselves with others woes. The biggest kicked however was the constant taring down by "friends". My childhood had been quite sheltered and much that had learned was in those short 4(ish) years and I knew that I was not an expert on any subject. Nonetheless I was brought up to the "big leagues" as my boyfriend at the time had had many overly educated friends. I know that if baseball or football came up I would stand a change on being the expect on the subject BUT those never came up. As subjects were tossed around and worked through I found often should I mention anything I got dirty looks, scoffs OR rude corrections that how could I even say something so asinine. These had been people had gone to school in the short years before and thought for some foolish reason that they would kind as they were classified as nerds, intellectuals and brainy honor-roll. This assumption was so wrong as only one person was not condescending to me the simpleton. This is when I found that I would rather be happy in knowing the basics of the world and be happy in my life and forget those that believe but having more awareness about a subject gave them some magic power the be rude to others.

      Now hearing this book I know that I was not the stereo typical teen but there are some that yes spoke and speak like this. I find I do miss having those conversations about transcendent categories. Time has taking that from me but,  I also love the chats and inside jokes I have with my friends and fiance. We may not be the brain trust that will solve all the worlds woes but we have our focuses. Be wise good reader and know that playing is good and fun BUT you never know when someone is really just PLAYING. 

PS The Fault in Our Stars is the work of John Green and I own no rights to it also it is a book I believe all should hear or read. DO IT!