Sunday, June 15, 2014

Get stupid

"The smarter a woman is the harder it is for her to find a good man." - Unknown

      I just binge listened to The Fault in Our Stars for the second time. As I listened to this sad tale about life I thought of my own story with disease. My story is one I will save BUT I did also think of the amazing intelligence of this novel. I know that there are some that say this is not the way "normal" teenagers speak but I remembered my teenage years and for a long while I did actually speak much like Hazel, I did not have that much wit but I could hold and creative and well-informed conversations. What has changed you may ask. Why did I go from an avid news watcher, current event knowledge center and all-in-all smart woman?
It is two fold the first being simple and the second a bit more complex.

 You are the company you keep. 
      In my early years of my teens I was the typical teen worrying about friends, fun and boys. It was very uneventful but as things changed and I lost and gained friends people came into my life that were much more interested in more than boys and the "normal things" and wanted to make a mark in the world, many did. As I fell more into this crowd I wanted to be on the same level and pushed myself to get top grade, know the facts of the day and moments of the year. The people in my helped me move toward finding my voice but the great wave of hormones could only be held back but the levy for so long until they would break down those internal walls.  As this happened I my want to be the best changed into just the want to be liked. Of course there was still a want to do well and still know what is going on in the world around me BUT I found high school boys often are not worrying if their girlfriends can write or talk current events as much as they cared how good they looked perched on their arm and how much it would cost to get them into bed. This is when the decline began.

Silent does not get ridiculed (Often)
     Towards the end of high school I had found that pretending to be dingy was all in good but not the thing for me, really. If a person did not like that I had an opinion and knowledge that was their problem. I followed this train of thought into college until I was almost 19. This golden last year in the teens so many things changed in my life I had lost the strong backing of my family. They had moved and took with them the questions of the goings on in the world. My adopted family often was too burdened about the here and now in our home to concern themselves with others woes. The biggest kicked however was the constant taring down by "friends". My childhood had been quite sheltered and much that had learned was in those short 4(ish) years and I knew that I was not an expert on any subject. Nonetheless I was brought up to the "big leagues" as my boyfriend at the time had had many overly educated friends. I know that if baseball or football came up I would stand a change on being the expect on the subject BUT those never came up. As subjects were tossed around and worked through I found often should I mention anything I got dirty looks, scoffs OR rude corrections that how could I even say something so asinine. These had been people had gone to school in the short years before and thought for some foolish reason that they would kind as they were classified as nerds, intellectuals and brainy honor-roll. This assumption was so wrong as only one person was not condescending to me the simpleton. This is when I found that I would rather be happy in knowing the basics of the world and be happy in my life and forget those that believe but having more awareness about a subject gave them some magic power the be rude to others.

      Now hearing this book I know that I was not the stereo typical teen but there are some that yes spoke and speak like this. I find I do miss having those conversations about transcendent categories. Time has taking that from me but,  I also love the chats and inside jokes I have with my friends and fiance. We may not be the brain trust that will solve all the worlds woes but we have our focuses. Be wise good reader and know that playing is good and fun BUT you never know when someone is really just PLAYING. 

PS The Fault in Our Stars is the work of John Green and I own no rights to it also it is a book I believe all should hear or read. DO IT!


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